Following a short period when I thought my hands had returned to normal, the left hand deteriorated again, and was now twitching, too. So back to the GP I went, another one, who again scratched her head, asked me what I thought, and referred me to a physiotherapist and an orthopaedic consultant. The physio examined me and noticed that the muscles in my left hand were wasted away. She got me to move my head around, which felt really creaky. In hindsight, I have always suffered from neck and shoulder pain, especially when I’m stressed. She also tested my reflexes, which were stronger on the left and said, “Don’t worry, but I think the problem comes from further up your arm.”
The words “don’t worry” from any medical professional are guaranteed to put the fear of God into anyone, and it was then that I started to panic. So, thinking I was an intelligent person, and a scientist, I started Googling my symptoms. Several (not so) helpful websites are out there where you can put in your symptoms, and the computer will spit out a ‘diagnosis’. A wide range of possible illnesses were spat out, including “You are having a heart attack, call 999.” It would be funny if it wasn’t so tragic. One of the more scary options was motor neurone disease. This sent me into meltdown, and I phoned the GP surgery in tears, begging for someone to tell me what was wrong. I didn’t get much joy and it was suggested that I waited to see what the consultant said. Still no job, stress levels rising.
Doctor tally: 4